E40: Why is Marriage Counseling so Frustrating?

Marriage counseling is not a bad thing. But, it is very difficult to use effectively. There are many great marriage counselors that are doing great work, but there are also many other practices that only know how to talk about marriage problems, not help you overcome them. 

Probably the biggest problem with marriage counseling is that it is asking the wrong question from the beginning. Here is the main point that I make in this episode:

  • Personal problems get revealed in marriage. We can hide and pretend with other people, but in our marriage the junk comes out eventually. 
  • But, here is where the mistake comes into play. We then think that our marriage is the source of our problem. Actually, our problem was just exposed in our marriage. Thus, asking someone to “Fix my marriage” is probably the wrong place to focus. 

There is so much good news:

  • It is a good think that marriage is exposing problems. Chances are, your whole life is being held back by personal problems. If you face the actual problems, your whole life can be improved dramatically. 
  • You don't need months or years of counseling. Start with one conversation. 

If you have nobody to talk to, reach out to mark. 
Email: mark@markdelaney.me
Phone: 918-401-9608

Support the show (https://donorbox.org/family-paradigms-donations)