A marriage can feel completely dead. There can seem to be nothing that has enough power to overcome the things that have stolen the life out of it.
Feels like you are trapped. It feels like it is going to hurt the rest of your life. You wonder how it will impact the kids. Do I just have to live like a zombie in this for the rest of my life? What do I do with this part of me that wants to experience great love? Do I just live with frustration and emptiness with this part of my heart?
Wrong solution
1. Focusing on the marriage problems. (money, sex, the past, infedelity, lust, pornography)
2. Focusing on the past. We think that if we unravel the past, our marriage will change. Seems right. But how far do you need to unravel? What things need to be unraveled? When will we ever have proof that the past is unraveled? It’s an invisible force.
Trying to change a marriage problem by focusing on it is like fighting over the casket you lay in.
Many people try to get their marriage fixed by arguing about their grave clothes.
Solution
Marriages don’t change. People change. And when people change, the marriage changes.
Who needs to change? Me!
- My behavior is not what needs to change. My spouses behavior is not what needs to change. How I think is what needs to change. This causes change in behavior.
- Before a resurrection there needs to be a death. Death of selfishness, pride, our instinct to protect ourself. Our pride causes us to see the problem in other people but not see how we are helping to cause it. Our selfishness causes us to want what we want but not give to someone else what they need.
The purpose mastermind guides people through 8 simple, fun conversations…simple actions steps….to bring powerful change.
The result
You can stop being afraid of the past. Stop fearing that it is going to jump out from under the bed and get you.
You realize that the problem that was showing up in your marriage was showing up in other areas of your life and holding you back. (kids, occupation) So, you get life change in several areas.
You can start living the life you were made for!
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