Growing up I played about a thousand games in the park across the street from my house. If the park was empty I would shoot the basketball by myself. If it was just me and a brother we would hit fly balls to each other and hope to have a chance to make a diving catch.
When my grandson was less than two years old he became excited about a ball going into a goal. But why?
Why Sports Captivate Us
- Sports provide a goal. Life is far more interesting if there is a target.
- Sports provide competition. We have a desire within us to achieve and fight to be more, but without competition we tend to fall into apathy.
- Sports give a sense of risk. Risk provides a relief from monotony, and replaces it with a dose of excitement and adventure.
- Sports give a sense of connection. Working toward a goal with other people is a great feeling.
It’s true that men love sports. But it is more accurate to say that men love what sports enable them to experience. Understanding this is of utmost importance. When we raise our boys we actively look to engage them in activities that provide a goal, competition, risk, connection, etc.
Raising Boys, Guiding Men
We help our boys to fully engage in sports, and we invest in their development. But we are shortsighted in seeing the bigger picture. The boy is more than an athlete. Our son may play baseball, but you are not raising a ball player. You are raising a son who plays ball.
The mission is to raise a son who knows how to live out a life where he chases meaningful goals, embraces competition, lives with a sense of adventure, and develops relationships as a way of life.
Many athletes feel abandoned by the whole world when their sports career comes to an end. When they played their sport they felt alive and inspired, but now life just feels dull and empty.
We work so hard to help boys find adventure on a field, but what do we do to help men find adventure in their adult life?
We want our boys to go for it. But we tell men to not mess up.
We want our boys to have courage. But we tell men to play it safe.
We want our boys to learn to fight. But we tell our men to be calm.
We want our boys to hit home runs. But we tell men to behave.
We want our boys to use their passion. But we tell our men to suppress theirs.
Many men are living malnourished lives. A man without a pursuit is in trouble. A man who is not competing for something will spend his life running from something. A man who has no need for courage will be trapped in apathy. A man with no sense of connection will be alone when trouble comes.
A Call Back to Adventure
This is why we wrote the book “In the Game.” Men need to build the life they were created for. Men need to find a way to build a life that matches with the longings of their heart. Oftentimes, men end up acting out because of the emptiness and boredom of their lives. Instead of telling bored men to behave better, men need to be pointed back to a life of adventure.