I often ask people, “What do you want from life?” Many times I hear people say, “I just want to be happy.” It doesn’t sound like a lofty life ambition, but when happiness eludes us…the necessity of it is evident.
It seems that happiness has become hard to find. Some people may argue the difference between happiness and joy, but I’m too simple to try to play word games with my own heart. I think we can all agree that it’s hard to find people who are simply happy.
From the real experience of my own life, here are my thoughts:
Happiness is not found in the big. It is experienced in the small.
Contentment enables a person to be happy with what they have and where they are at. Like one man said, “I am happy with what I have, and I don’t care about what I don’t have.” If someone can be happy with the simple and the small, they can be happy in it all.
Without contentment we look outside of us and look for an event or “big experience” that we think will make us happy. The big trips, or big purchases, give us a momentary boost but leave us more empty. We then look for a bigger trip or bigger purchase.
- Today, many wonderful moments will be shared.
- There are families who will share cheap popsicles in their back yard.
- A couple of friends will go shopping together, but not even purchase anything.
- Somebody will mow the yard for the neighbor just for the fun of it.
- A couple will pop some popcorn and watch reruns of their favorite tv show.
Our lives are full of small things. While the big things come around a few times a year, the small things surround us every day. With a change in perspective we can tap in happiness.
Happiness is not found in the things we have. It’s found in sharing the things we have.
When I was in 1st grade we had show and tell days. We were able to bring something to school to show our classmates. I wanted to have something that was impressive, and hopefully better than what everyone else brought.
I used to have an old set of golf clubs. I’m not sure how, but I had figured out how to hit the golf ball pretty well. I was surprised. I decided that I deserved a better set of clubs. My wife bought them for me for Father’s Day and I was excited to use them that day with some friends. I played terribly from that day forward.
A better car, a bigger house, or a better toy seems to be the pathway to more happiness. But looking for happiness in something new will make us unsatisfied with what we have. The secret is to use the things we have for others, and with others. If we allow people to use what we have, we will add value to our lives and experience the happiness of sharing.
Happiness is not found in accomplishment for self. It’s found in the lifting up of others.
As a little boy growing up in Indiana we loved to play in the snow. When we had a mound of snow we played king of the mountain. The goal is to get on the top of the mound by knocking other people off of the mound of snow.
When we see someone on top of the mountain we assume they are happy. No matter the career, when we find the president, owner, or CEO we imagine they are living a better life than everyone else. Staying on top of that mountain is exhausting. Climbing the mountain is exhausting. But, if we help people climb the mountain we can find joy in the journey.
Happiness is not found in status. It’s found when you are set free of the need for status.
Somewhere in childhood we look around and start to wonder how we compare to others. Are we smart enough? Tall enough? Do people like me? Do enough people like me? It becomes an appetite. This appetite can become insatiable.
We strive to move closer to the popular people. We want to be the person on the stage. We want to be higher on the ladder. These things seem to bring a big payoff, but they only increase our appetite. Higher status does not bring joy. Actually, our need for status is actually an indicator that our joy is low.