Help! My marriage has shipwrecked my life.
This thought arises in every marriage.
The idea of great love in marriage and family can be exhilarating. It still causes people to lay in bed and dream of what life could be with someone they love. Why? The greatest human experience is the giving and receiving of great love.
But…. What if the dream gets shipwrecked? A spouse becomes an addict. Someone has an affair. The person you love crushes your heart.
In every relationship, at some point, the person that made you want to get on board the boat, is the same person that makes you want to overboard. Or push them overboard. In every relationship! These moments will happen.
Can the marriage be fixed? No. But lives can change. The people in the marriage can change and that changes everything.
The sharks are swirling.
- Future pain
- Financial ruin
- Regret
- Impact on the kids
The sinking boat represents the life I was made for. The person I was made to be.
Some people use these moments to live like never before. Other people get used by these moments and never really live again.
The question becomes, where is my new boat. It’s not about pulling up the old one. It’s about finding a new one.
- It can be a new boat together.
- It can be separate boats together. (if you have kids, that is going to be the reality whether you want it or not.) you are going to be together in a contentious way or in a loving way.
Talk to an unbiased person who has wisdom in these matters! There are many people who have experience in the pain of things like this. But no experience in the redemption of things like this. These people will help you walk in their pain. Other people can help you walk in your redemption story.
I would say that our role is to provide a safe place for people to float while they figure out the steps to navigate toward the future they were made for.